Buddies in Bad Times, 12/2/2010
Everybody in this room –
If you think we are going to get away with anything, you are wrong. The puritans are going to be taking over this city and this country very, very, very soon. We cannot have that, ladies and gentlemen. Think about what’s going on with Stephen Harper and the federal politics. This is what’s happening right now and if you don’t think it’s going to happen in the city of Toronto, it’s going to happen in the city of Toronto very, very, very soon.
In approximately 245 days there is going to be an election in this city, and the puritan people could actually win. So we have to fight that, fight that, fight that, as much as we can. And with that I mean there is going to be arts and culture funding – “GOOD BYE!” Bike lanes – “GOOD BYE!” Pedestrian friendly cities – “GOOD BYE!” Everything is going to be “GOODBYE” unless we fight and stand up and have a little bit of civic engagement right about now, and for the next 245 days, and fight for everything that we feel is important for this great city of Toronto.
Toronto is a really amazing city. It is a great city and it can be even more of an amazing city. For the last six years I have felt that this city has been nothing but a little bit of a long, dry hack of a cough. We’ve been coughing and coughing and coughing. It won’t go away; it’s a little bit annoying. It’s also like a little bit of a dry heave. We’re barfing, we’re barfing, but nothing’s actually coming out. We actually have to change that. In 2010 we actually have the opportunity, people, to change how the city of Toronto is actually going to be run., and how it is going to be organized. It is up to you.
CIVIC ENGAGEMENT, everybody. Please, get involved in this election. It is completely exciting. At this point right now, the whole entire election for mayor and for city counselors is all about the TTC and the fact that they want to raise the price of a parking ticket. That’s it. This is what our city’s based on right now. It’s unsophisticated and completely fucking boring.
So if we want to bring this city into a little bit of future and into something that is a little more amazing than parking tickets and the TTC we have to do this now. It is up to us. (drowned out by cheering).
The city of Toronto used to have a little bit of strut, a little bit of style, a little bit of swagger. And now we have none of that. We have to bring all of that back. So it’s up to all of us to bring a little bit of style, a little bit of strut, a little bit of swagger back to the city of Toronto.
I am not asking people to take a chance on me; I’m asking people to take a chance with me. I want you to take a chance with me. Why can’t we do this? We can easily do this. 2010 is going to be a time of change. We have to give it a chance. So many city counselors are not coming back. David Miller is not coming back. This is the time to make a change for the city of Toronto, if you care about this city.
One of the things we have to do ladies and gentlemen..How many people here care about arts and culture in this city? (loud cheers) They have to be a priority. I am the only one bringing that to the table, ladies and gentlemen. Also, we have to make this a pedestrian friendly city – pedestrians and bicycles. There is room for all of us. There is room for cars. There is room for bicycles. There is room for trucks. There is room for pedestrians. There is room for everybody in the city of Toronto. We have to bring this all to the front.
Also, 10-15 years ago, the environment was never, never, never on the table; but now, you know what, the environment is actually on the table. And the city of Toronto actually can be one of the prettiest, most fantastic cities, in the world, if we want it to be that way. We have to make this city an unbelievably vibrant, livable city, and it is up to all of us in this world to spread the word, and bring the city of Toronto back to where it actually can be.
There has been a lot of criticism today about this being self serving, a publicity stunt, and this is all just, you know,
“Your reputation, Keith. There is NO WAY you’re going to get away with this because –” (interrupted by a heckler -)
“GET OVER IT!”
Yes! Exactly. You know what? GET OVER IT! Yes! Guess what, ladies and gentlemen. I have bought porn on the Internet. I watch porn on the Internet. I have sexual dreams about having sex with (unclear). I have paid for sex. I have been to Remingtons. I have also .. my sperm has twirled up several times over the years. But you know what, ladies and gentlemen. I suck cock. I have double, double, triple and quadruple, have had many men and incidences over .. I have nothing to hide and it’s all nothing.
But I am asking you, please, take a chance. Take a chance and just believe in something that actually could be a little bit different for 2010. If we don’t do this now, we are going to be forced with a huge, huge puritan mayor and also city counselors. Do not do this. Please, please please.
Now what they .. I just want everybody to know this. If you go outside and you see a pole that doesn’t have a light on, call this number — 416-542-3195. In 62 minutes, that pole will have some new light. So that is about civic engagement. Please. 416-542-3195.George Smitherman’s not going to be talking about this.
Now I want everybody, everybody , everybody to know, yes, you know what? Everybody was like, all day today, people were like, “Keith, aren’t you afraid of George Smitherman. Aren’t you afraid? He’s such a bulldog. He’s so mean.”
I’m not afraid of him. I’ve known Andrew Harwood since 1985. I know all about vicious fags. I am one too.
So you know, what, I am not afraid of George Smitherman one bit. And it’s going to come down to George Smitherman and myself, and you know what? And this is going to be completely exciting, ladies and gentlemen. Because I am Joan Collins and he is Linda Evans, and we are going to have some Dynasty 1980s fights. And I promise you this — We’re going to be pulling each other’s wigs off, and there’s going to be some evening gown ripping around, and because of civic engagement, 34 pools are now open, because people did not want these pools to be closed. So, George Smitherman and I are going to have a good fight, and we’re going to fall into a pool and it’s going to be amazing. Because this is what it’s coming down to — George Smitherman and Keith Cole!
This is what is happening right now, ladies and gentlemen. So, we have to bring this together. We have to talk about arts and culture and funding. We have to talk about pedestrians and bicycles and a livable and vibrant city.